(Note to Email subscribers: There are many animated GIFs in this post, which may not translate to email. Please click on the post link for the full effect – trust me, it’s worth it.)
Confession: I wrote the beginning of my ground-breaking, mind-blowing breakup post way back in November. I flew back to my hometown, Omaha, and a couple weeks at home lent me the clarity I needed to finally recognize that we brought out the worst in each other, this relationship was “toxic”, two good people does not a good relationship make, etc…
Then, he asked me to try again, and, although I knew better, I went back to give it another shot anyway.
F*** Sh*** D***
Merely 2 months later, my breakup post was still in-tact, but my dignity certainly wasn’t. Whereas, I had intelligently taken distance before the first breakup, this real and final breakup was brutal.
I suppose this last time around, he finished off the breakup. I knew it was for the best (and had never really adjusted to being back with him), but that didn’t make it easier. In just about 30 days, I had transformed from a self-assured, empowered and independent woman to a weak and pathetic little girl.
My head was fuzzy, and it was impossible to clarify my feelings during those early days. I thought long and hard about the best way to share this breakup with my small, but loyal following. Although I don’t shy away from sharing the imperfections in my life on this little blog, I’ve always tried to avoid delving into too many personal details. I want my blog to be a little “escape” from your monotonous boring workday, where you can laugh at my many kitchen nightmares, relate to my latest Sometimes Healthy slip-up and maybe grab a useful workout or two.
So, a deep venture into my personal life is unchartered territory. That said, come on ladies, how many of us have been through one of those “wish we could erase it from our mind” excruciatingly painful breakups? I knew many of you could commiserate, so I thought, “F*** it, I’m just going to write about it!” Ultimately, I decided the nitty-gritty details were just too sad and pathetic, and it would be much more fun to share the experience through an interactive GIF timeline.
So grab a box of chocolates, some ice cream or a bag of carrots (if you’re trying to be Sometimes Healthy), get cozy by the fire and relax. This story could take awhile, but hey, there’s no better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than reading a breakup story from yours truly.
The following events DID actually happen. It just wasn’t quite as funny to be the person experiencing them.
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