In one of the multitude of brilliant episodes of that timeless show, Sex and the City, entitled “Ex and the City,” Carrie and the ladies grapple with one of the many awkward issues that arise post-breakup: How to proceed with your “relationship” with your ex after the relationship ends.
Carrie, ever the romantic, has sincere hopes of forming a friendship with Mr. Big (of course, that’s before she finds out he’s engaged to a 20-something model after dating her for 6 months). But Miranda’s words always stuck with me:
“I would love to be one of those people who’s all ‘We loved, thank you. You enriched my life. Now, go prosper.’ But, I’m much more, “We didn’t work out. You need to not exist.”
Through the serious relationships in my life, I’ve learned that one’s opinion on this conundrum is generally situational. I had those cheesy “We loved, go prosper” movie-style breakups with some. Others, not so much. However, what I do know is that that, thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, etc., we don’t necessarily have a choice in the matter.
Sure, you can choose whether or not to be “friends” with your ex. You can even choose whether or not you want to be “Facebook Friends” or follow them on Twitter and Instagram. But, inevitably, whether you make the conscious decision to take these actions, you’ll always make the sub-conscious decision to cyberstalk him. Seriously, you will. Don’t deny it.
We all know you can still see a lot even when you “defriend” him. And, thankfully, most Twitter accounts and Instagram accounts aren’t private. Oh, and even better, there’s always his new girlfriend’s Twitter account… But, you would never do that right?
So,I decided that this time around I was going to be above all this cyberstalking nonsense. As I started piecing my life together post-breakup in my little hotel room, instead of making plans with UPS to ship all my stuff, the very first thing I did was grab my little computer and deactivate my Facebook account.
